At a Loss for the ‘Right’ Words

I keep trying to write a well-crafted blog post and it’s just not coming together. So I am finally chucking that goal and just going to get something out, on the page. Because as a writer, that’s what we have to do sometimes. It can’t always be pretty and trim and eloquent.

As a mom and a wife and a friend and a human being, these are some of the thoughts swirling around in my head lately:

  • Am I doing this parenting thing ‘right’?
  • Why do I feel so weary?
  • Will my kids grow up to be okay?
  • Is something wrong with me (health-wise, mental-wise)?
  • Do I just overthink things?
  • Am I a flaky person?
  • Am I a good friend?
  • Do I love people well?
  • How do I balance work and home and loving my husband and my kids and being a part of a church and a good neighbor and…

It’s 3:45 am and I woke up with fears. Fears of bad things that could happen. To my kids. To my family members. I don’t want to be fearful, Lord. I really don’t. I am not usually. But a dark cloud has been hovering lately. Help me trust You. Help me walk with You through the ups and downs in life and don’t let go of Your Strong Hand.

I haven’t been talking to You lately. I am sorry for that. I get so in a tizzy with busyness. I don’t mean to. Or maybe I do. Because it feels good to not have to think, so sit in my thoughts and anxieties and fears and lows. But I don’t want to run from things, Lord.

Father, I need You. Every hour I need You. Help me to parent my children. Oh, this is such a weary job. A thankless one. Help me to balance my time well. Help me mostly, to cling to You. I can’t do life without You. I know that. I can’t carry the weight of it all.

And that’s all I’ve got tonight. That’s all I’ve got.

 

 

One thought on “At a Loss for the ‘Right’ Words

  1. 1) you’re not flaky 2) what are you doing to speak truth to yourself about you? 3) James fail. I’m working on 1-7. I think I can only commit to chapter one! Yuck- sorry! Feel I need to dwell in 1 Peter for preparing Fall study!

    Would love to chat soon! Adore you! Praying the fears are just trampled by Scripture and other reminders from loved ones of how they see that you are the aroma of Christ!! Hugs!!!

    Blessings, Laura

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

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